Funny Photos

As I travel around the internet I run across photos that, gosh I don’t know, I guess are just wrong. You have to wonder what these people were thinking.

First up, Bad Bouquet.bad bouquet
Sadly this came from a Martha Stewart post. I’m sorry but just ripping a bit of shrubbery out of the garden is not a suitable substitute for a bouquet.

Giant Bride.IMG_0383
I ran across this one while setting up a site for a bridal salon. This was actually on the gown manufacturer’s website. Take a good look. How tall is this bride? 14’ or 15’ tall? Or is it just a miniature landscape.

bride torso  from Cake WrecksBad Cake
This was sent to me by a fellow cake designer. Click through the photo to read the comments they really are the best part. Just be sure to put your coffee down first or you risk spitting all over your monitor from laughing so hard.

Sign My Cast

Last Friday morning I left with camera in hand to document all the fabulous things there were to share at the largest bridal show in the southeast. With over 200 vendors representing everything from cakes to gowns to limos I knew there would be tons to share.

Well a funny thing happened. I was helping my favorite florist set up her booth and lost my balance. A rush trip to the ER, 3 hours of surgery and 4 days in hospital I missed the show, Dang. It looked like it was going to be a good one too. That silly EMT wouldn’t stop for me to take pictures as he wheeled me out. Whatever was he thinking? Maybe that cantaloupe masquerading as my knee had something to do with it.

Yes it hurt!

Yes it hurt!

Any way, it would be great if you could sign my cast. OK, so I don’t have an actual cast, just an immobilizer but if you leave me a comment that works too. Send a little love to your wedding diva to help her heal.

I promise to post pictures of the show highlights as soon as I get them.

Wedding Myths Debunked!

Back you beast!

Back you beast!

How about a little bridal humor today? I was traipsing around the internet today and ran across an entire

page of simple hilarious wedding lore on of all places

One of my particular favorites is about the bride that gave her baker the wrong bible verse for her wedding cake. Rather that extolling the virtues of love it made some crack about her five husbands!

Then of course there is a page that explains where all the superstitions we hold near and dear actually came from. Did you know that brides wear veils to hide their “shattering loveliness?”

They (veils) were originally worn to conceal the beauty of the bride from both easily-tempted evil spirits and “friends” of the groom who might otherwise be moved to make off with her. It was felt that that a bride’s shatteringly loveliness put her at immediate risk of abduction.

Now aren’t you happy to know that the mere act of being a bride bestows upon you

“shattering loveliness”

Keep laughing. Especially as you walk down the aisle with that gold coin in your shoe rubbing your foot!

Bride Wars

I just ran across the trailer for the upcoming movie, Bride Wars. Oh my dear readers, I can’t wait. Starring Kate Hudson and Ann Hathaway as BFFs turned bitter rivals when their wedding are double booked at the Plaza hotel. Throw in Candice Bergen as the wedding planner and you have a festival of bridal angst!

The movie is set for theatrical release January 9, 2009. That is just too long to wait. In the meantime, enjoy the trailer

Hide the Bride

There just are not words…

Oh wait, didn’t someone say something about tulleolopes?

See the complete story here.

Tulleolopes and Other Horrors

An entire herd of Tulleolopes died to make this dress!

Badly in need of a bit of a laugh due to having spent the last two days in bed with a Godzilla sized case of the sniffles I decides to check out my favorite forum, Kvetch on Indie Bride.

I knew the IBs wouldn’t let me down. I found a link posted by Calypso to the Wedding Gown Hall of Shame. Oh my! Before I knew it I had tears rolling down my face from laughing so hard.

The captions like the one above are what make this site a most worthy waste of time. It may not be work friendly due only to the uncontrollable urge to laugh out loud.

Is This a Foreshadowing?

Friend of the Dish, Courtney Hammon has started sending her report on bridezilla’s wedding in Michigan. You may remember, this is the bride that insisted that her bridesmaids have hair extensions for their matching updos. I can’t wait to see the next installment. If this wedding saga begins with a bomb scare I just can’t imagine where it will go from here. I wait as anxiously as you for all the little details.

Thursday the 13th My Big Travel Day

Since there are so many friends and family coming from across the country my husband and I had decided to arrive into the Detroit area a day before the big festivities were to kick off. My parents were already there and so was my sister and her family. The flight on Northwest was great and we landed in Detroit shortly after 10:00am. Now this is where the real story begins: the flight attendant tells us that there has been a security breech in the airport so we may come across some barricades on our way out. Being the good daughter I call my dad and tell him to not wait at our usual spot until I call but instead come all the way to the terminal as he may have some challenges with the “security breech” and all. Once we are off the plane we immediately notice the airport is not right!!! There is not a soul to be found?? They have evacuated the terminal. If you look out at the gates all you see are police cars and fire trucks. We make our way to the luggage escalator and we are greeted with 10 – 15 police officers who politely inform us we cannot leave! My father is now calling telling me he cannot get to the terminal as it is blocked off by police and news crews! (Some security breech!) After 30 minutes we are allowed to go and claim our luggage – it is than we find out it was a bomb threat. Dad has successfully made it to the terminal and we are on our way to the hotel!!! Only once we get a mile from the hotel traffic is in a dead stop??? It seems the bank across the street from the hotel is being robbed! Wow my brother and future sister in law sure know how to welcome their guests to the Detroit area.

Friday the 14th Manicures Pedicures and Rehearsal

So the boys are all off golfing and I am to get my mom, sister, family neighbor and niece all to the salon in our matching pink shirts that the bride sent us to the spa. We make it there with little challenges other than learning what a Michigan left turn is! Upon arrival we see 15 ladies in their matching pink shirts sipping mimosa’s and enjoying the day together. The bride has gone from a size 10 to a size 2 and looks fabulous!! Leave it to my family that my 2 year old niece gets her first manicure and pedicure! But she sure was cute!! I have one word to describe the rehearsal LONG maybe its because I see weddings every week or maybe its because it was my family and friends but just over a hour and a half was way to long for a 20 minute ceremony. The rehearsal dinner was lovely with all 80 people but it was great to have some time with the out of town family that we see so rarely.

What Not To Do

~sigh~ every now and then I wonder what planet some brides really live on.

I met my friend Courtney for lunch last week. Courtney has lovely shoulder length blond hair, or I should say did have. What she had on Friday were four hours worth of hair extensions. When I asked her about it she laughed and then almost cried at the general absurdity of the situation.

Courtney is in a wedding in 2 weeks and the bride has insisted that her bridesmaids have hair extensions put in so that they can all have the same updo! Excuse me, that’s excessive. My question was why so early? “So we have time to learn how to take care of them before the wedding” was Courtney’s dead panned response.

OK, come on. Can we all not clearly see the insanity in this? Is this bride even cognizant of what she is doing at this point? The bridesmaids were also required to have their gowns at the MoB’s house in Michigan 3 weeks before the wedding so that mom could make sure that the bustles were all identical and the bride could be reassured that they were there on the wedding day. Wonder if identical panties are required. They were allowed to choose their own shoes…as long as they were black strappy sandals with 3’’ heel. Hmmmmmm.

At what point do you just have to say enough is enough? Is it a wedding or a Busby Berkeley musical?

To add further insanity to the madness; Courtney is a first class wedding and event planner. She has worked all over the world for a client list that reads like a who’s who.

Her offer of coordinating the wedding as her gift was turned down.

Courtney has promised a full review upon her return, assuming she survives.

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