Tulleolopes and Other Horrors

An entire herd of Tulleolopes died to make this dress!

Badly in need of a bit of a laugh due to having spent the last two days in bed with a Godzilla sized case of the sniffles I decides to check out my favorite forum, Kvetch on Indie Bride.

I knew the IBs wouldn’t let me down. I found a link posted by Calypso to the Wedding Gown Hall of Shame. Oh my! Before I knew it I had tears rolling down my face from laughing so hard.

The captions like the one above are what make this site a most worthy waste of time. It may not be work friendly due only to the uncontrollable urge to laugh out loud.

Monogamy as a Marketing Campaign

I’m just not sure where I stand on this. Hearts on Fire which according to their press is the pre-eminent consumer brand in the luxury jewelry diamond business is using monogamy to help brand their product. I kind of had it in my head that was already associated with wedding rings, didn’t you?

Their new campaign “Monogamy100” is being released for print, radio and TV. You can view the ads on their new website. Here is just one little blurb I pulled out of it.

“As The World’s Most Perfectly Cut Diamond®, a Hearts On Fire diamond is an enduring declaration of your commitment to a relationship that is deep, rich and meaningful. One that goes beyond conventional definitions. One that exceeds conventional expectations of love and monogamy. And one that deserves a diamond beyond conventional beauty.”

This quote makes me wonder if they are trying to convince me that if I get a better diamond I will get a better grade of monogamy. HUH?

I’m thinking emerald or sapphire at this point.

World Heaviest Wedding Gown

In another installment of the “What Planet Are These People Living On” thread I bring you this from the UK courtesy of Bridal Wave. (Is it just me or does this stuff always come from the UK?)

At 425 pounds, this is thought to be the heaviest wedding gown on record. My question is why would you? According to the original story in The Daily Mail the dress had 30 layers of fabric, a 60ft train and 30,000 crystals. Created by Nico’s Dressmakers, in Liverpool, England it tipped that other scale at just over $31,000.! Again I ask, on what planet are these people living?

The diminutive 16 year old bride topped out at 5’3” and according to published reports spent most of her reception seated due the weight of this monstrosity. Because of the weight of the train it reportedly took 10 of her friends to PUSH her up the aisle.

Ok, why? Why not get a gown you could actually move in? How I would love to see the video of this. You devotees of YouTube please keep your eyes peeled and let me know if it turns up. I want to see them push this up the aisle.

Just Say No To Bad Accessories

I rarely post on the weekend or post about non-wedding things, but…

when I saw these purses at a street festival yesterday I just could not restrain myself.

Please, please, no matter how much of a sports fan you are, don’t do it.

What A Million Bucks Will Get You

Ok, you have heard me rail against the over the top excess of some weddings before, but this one takes the cake. Just what does a million dollar wedding look like? I found one for you to peek at.

Oprah Winfrey ran a ‘wedding of a lifetime’ contest, hired Colin Cowie, coughed up a fat million and picked the happy couple. Want to see it?? Look here.

There is a three page write up in Cowie’s own hyper elegant words and a fabulous slide show of the three day event.

Be sure not to miss the description of the brides attire or a peek at the menu. Don’t miss Cowie’s plug for his Holiday Collection at WalMart. (why does that strike me as hysterically funny?) And for all you dear readers struggling to afford the bouquet of you dreams, don’t miss the 5000 roses flown in from South America.

According to the description there were 130 guests. That breaks down to $7692.30 per person. Try to explain that one to your parents or fiancé or your own common sense.

Is it just me or is it time to stop the insanity?

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