I know you watch them; those shows like “Who’s Wedding Is It Anyway”. You do know that those are only real in the loosest sense of the word don’t you? I mean they are real brides and real vendors but that pretty much is the end of it.
Let me tell you about what goes on behind the camera. In the real world that planner is on the phone with her favorite wedding pros the minute she/he got the call from the TV show. So everybody knows just how important this wedding is to their reputation and marketing. No one wants to be on National TV putting anything but their best foot forward.
Take for instance the florist. If you ask for a mock up of your centerpiece or bouquet you might very well either meet with resistance or be told the specific date they can do it. Here’s why: it will only take a few of each flower you are using to make the arrangement but the florist still has to order the entire box or bunch multiplied by the number of flower types used; very few can be ordered as a single stem. The florist now either has a huge investment or they will try to set it up on a date when they already have the same types of flowers ordered for another event. The smaller the florist the harder this is. If on the other hand that same florist knows that a camera crew is going to be showing up for the trial what do you thing they are going to do? I’ll tell you what they do, they beg, borrow and steal what ever is needed to make sure that those arrangements are gorgeous at whatever time or date the planner wants to see them. They will call in every favor from ever supplier they have to make it perfect. Heck I have even know a couple to paint the workroom.
The same goes for caterers, they hate tastings. It isn’t because they don’t think there food is great; it is because it costs them a fortune. In order to get the kind of prices and quality they need they have to order in bulk. Now what are they going to do with the other 2.5 pounds of extra large shrimp they had to thaw out to get the 6 they put on your plate? If the camera crew is there they are going to feed them and most definitely the producer. Why do you think the caterer always gets so much air time??
It is not that the wedding professionals you are interviewing are treating you badly, they are treating you normally. It is just that you don’t have a camera crew in tow. Those are the ones that are getting spoiled.
They may call them reality TV but you need to take them with a real big grain of salt.
Hey I have a question for you, since you mentioned that caterers hate tastings. I get that they hate tastings and why, but the fact of the matter is that I’m going to drop several thousand dollars on a meal for 100 people at my wedding so I would like the taste the food beforehand and make sure it tastes the way we want or adjust our selections.
We booked our wedding at a country club so we have to use their in-house restaurant for catering. We have the option of either buffet or plated service. They will do a tasting for us if we choose plated service, but not if we choose a buffet.
Is this normal? I understand that it’s difficult to replicate a buffet style menu in a single serving, but I find it hard to believe that every bride who has ever served buffet at her wedding has never tasted the food before the wedding day.
We were kind of leaning towards plated service because it’s cheaper and also because we get to taste it, but the venue is really pushing us toward buffet, in case that factors into the advice you offer.
I can sympathize with your wanting to taste the food, I mean after all I was a chef for years, I would too. If you want the plated dinner don’t let them push you into something else unless they can give you a VERY good reason. As for tasting the buffet, ask if at the next buffet event they have if they would set you aside a tiny tasting and you could come pick it up. It may not be the exact dishes that you are considering,but it will be an honest representation of the quality of food they serve.
Thanks for the advice! Good idea. And no we won’t let them push us into anything we don’t want, but we kind of thought if they are wanting us to go with buffet and we’re not so sure, we could maybe use that as a bargaining chip in negotiations!
What are their reasons for pushing you toward a buffet?
THANK YOU for posting this! So true! 🙂